Today's female generation has to live with a conflict: on the one hand women should take maternity leave to live through the transition of becoming a mother and to spend quality time with her baby. In addition psychologist always highlight that the first three years in the development of the child are the most important. On the other hand women feel pressured to leave the maternity phase again so they can get on with their careers. Mothers have to make a personal compromise. It is important to recognise that if a mother is unhappy at home it is better for her and the child to go back to work. No matter whether the child goes to kindergarten or stays at home, the quality of care is important. The quality of care at home can sometimes be increased by the mother working part time. Why? Because she will feel more fulfilled then if she is "just" a stay- home mum. She will feel like she did something for herself and she will spend more quality time with her child which she will be able to enjoy more.
What are the requirements for the care in a kindergarten/nursery?
In the first year of life an infant should be able to develop a secure attachment to the main caregiver, in most cases the mother. But this experience of interaction is important for the whole development, not just for the first year. When a child starts exploring the world (in play) the mother acts as a secure base. This means that the child has the reassurance that when scared he/she will be able to go back the mother for comfort. When there is no secure base exploration will be inhibited. The secure base is very important in a new environment, like in day care. The teacher will be able to become a secondary attachment figure but this is a process and takes time. Psychologist and development experts emphasise that a child needs a period of time to settle in a new environment which needs to be planed and should have no time frame, on the contrary the child's needs should be the first priority (Settling your child into daycare ). First of all the kindergarten team should provide one person who is the main teacher of the child. This is the teacher the child will get attached to and should officiate as the secure base. In the transition period the child is given the opportunity, in presence of the mother, to get to know the main- teacher and learn to trust her/him. Separation to the main-teacher needs to be prepared for example if the teacher is going on maternity leave or for a long holiday and a new teacher needs to be introduced before the separation. The individual needs of the child have to be recognised and properly interpreted by the teacher e.g. the need for attachment, autonomy or being integrated. Furthermore the teacher needs to respond promptly which is only possible if she is only responsible for two or three children. So this is one of the important things to watch out for! The smaller the groups of children the better for the child. Why? For example a shy , quiet child can often get lost in a big group. Often the noisier you are the more attention you get, am I not right?
Nursery can be very overwhelming and exhausting for the child. Parents need to recognise this and accept it without feeling guilty. Do not undermine their feelings and but tell them that you understand that everyday life in the nursery is a strain for them. If you feel that your child is not well taken care of do, not ignore this feeling. Try to talk to the teachers about it and find a way with them to make the day more pleasant for the child but if it isn't possible and you feel the teachers do not care about the individual needs of your child then try to find a nursery that can give your child what he/she needs.
What are positive aspects of day care? When the teacher acts as a secure base for the child the wish to explore is satisfied which is very important for the development of the child. Children are given the opportunity to develop psychosocial skills which are important in the interaction with other children. children learn how to play in a group, how to share toys and how to manage conflict. This is particularly important for children who grow up without siblings.
You can not imagine how long it took me to write this post. really hard to type with one hand! guess how often my son woke up?
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