forgive and forget

Forgive and forget, that is something that a lot people have trouble with especially me.  I spend a lot of time and energy being angry with people. Sometimes I will think I have forgiven someone only to realize that I actually have not. My heart will start racing and I will feel like I did then. It's stupid and makes no sense. I will never tell the person I haven't forgiven them so in the end I am only hurting myself. And I am just has hard on myself as on everyone else. I will not forget stupid things I said or did. I will replay scenarios in my head again and again. I will torture myself with ifs and whys again and again. It's unbearable.

I wish I was more like Simon my husband.

He is the most forgiving person I know. And not only that, he will also forget. He will never bring it up again, never use it against you in a fight a few weeks, months or years later, and he won't want to talk about it for hours to make you feel even worse than you already do and to apologize for the hundredth time. 

I am really lucky, he on the other hand is screwed. But to be fair he knew what he was getting into because I always told him that I have trouble forgiving.

In the series "Private Practice" Adison, who is the main character of the show tells her therapist that she thinks her boyfriend is a better person than her. I sometimes believe that too about me and Simon. I think being able to forgive makes you a better person because it means you can accept people for who they are including their mistakes and flaws. No? They are definitely happier people. But can one learn to forgive? Is there still hope for me?