At first I thought I would delete all the things I wrote here before I changed the name but then I decided not to.
I love looking at blogs and in my head I would love to have a fashion blog but I am just not that kind of person who likes to pose infront of a camera day in and day out. Also I just don't have the money to but myself new clothes every week. Then there are the food blogs that I love looking at and I was thinking of sharing my recipes online but my pictures will never resemble the ones you find online. My food taste nice I know that but I wouldn't say it looks beautiful. And you should see my cakes and muffins. I always love the idea of baking but then in the middle of it I think to myself:"why did you think this would be a good idea?" And I just wish I could stop, sit on the couch and hope that the fairy godmother will come and clear up the mess I created in the kitchen. I am one of these people who always has to fish out eggs shells from the bowl and reads the recipe 100 times and still gets something wrong. Somehow and don't ask me how it tastes quite nice at the end thank god otherwise the 2 hours I spent baking were a complete waste of time. But again I do not want to share these experiences with anyone. I do not even want to relive them while writing about them. So what else?
I thought I would share my experiences as a new mother but that didn't work out either for many reasons . One of them was that I was fed up talking about it. When you become a mother it seems like the only topic you have with your other mother friends. Is you child walking yet? What does he eat? How does he sleep? If you are not a parent and you overheard these conversations you would think that mothers are the most boring people on the world. And of course we are not. Babies and their development are fascinating but I decided that I didn't also want to write about it. A few weeks ago my husband, son and I were invited for dinner to a gay couple who invited a few other people too. None of them had kids and for the first few hours I just ran around their flat trying to stop my son from opening all their cupboards or breaking something. I didn't do a very good job because he did break something. And although they said it was fine I did feel bad about it and thought they would never invite us again. Anyway what I really wanted to say is that my son went to sleep at 9 and I put him down on their couch and there he slept till we left. For three hours I was myself again. We didn't talk about babies or pregnancies or births. And when we left I told them that they made me feel young again which they thought was funny because I was the youngest at the table. It was the first time since my son was born that I felt like the old me. The me that has fallen into the shadow of the new mummy me. That's how it is but I realized that I needed evenings like that more often so I decided that it was time to sleep train my child so that me and my husband could go out in the evenings every now and then. I haven't done it yet because my beloved child has been ill non stop.
I also wanted to talk about grandparenthood? Why you might ask! Very good question. I wrote my bachelor thesis about it and I thought I would share my thoughts about the subject. Unfortunately it took me a whole day to write one post because everything I know about the subject is saved in my brain in German. I studied psychology in Germany so everything I did was in German. And it is very difficult to transfer this information into English. I don't know why I have such a hard time with it but maybe if you are bilingual you will understand and feel the same way.
So you might think after reading all this what on earth is this blog going to be about? It's going to be about everything and anything. Everything that fascinates me this could be a book I am reading, the tree in a park, my son, my friends, my husband, who knows. The world is our oyster let's explore it and talk about it. Also I am hoping this is going to keep me sane. The last few nights I have been up with my son because he has a cold= he sleeps even worse then he normally does and needs to be carried around for hours during the night. At some point I drove him around at 4 in the morning. It doesn't just sound crazy, it is crazy. I need something that will keep me sane, something that is mine. And also if I have only one person who reads my post and feels a little inspired or understood then that is enough for me. So what do you think? Should we start our journey?!
