Grandchildren of divorced parents

I was not able to post anything yesterday because I was ill and could not do anything but lie in bed. So me and my little boy spend all day in bed. He was a really good boy. I think he knew I was not feeling well. Today I am writing something about grandchildren of divorced parents. 

A  lot of marriages end in divorce. I do not think it is relevant to bring up numbers as it is not important for the subjet.
So let us first see what it means for the family.

For the spouses a divorce is a  very emotional time especially if one of the spouses does not want to separate. They have to deal with feelings of resentment, anger and loss. But also if both parents agree to the divorce the transition is difficult for them.The spouse relationship does not exist any more but the parental relationship has to continue. It is very difficult for spouses to achieve that. The single parent often feels overwhelmed and the parent who is not entitled to custody feels isolated from the child.

Divorce is a process: at first the spouses think about separation but they are still ambivalent, second they go through with the separation and one of the spouses has to move out of their joint house and third the legal divorce. The legal divorce often is a fight about money and custody of the children. In all three phases the needs of the child stay unnoticed.

For the child the divorce of the parents is very stressful. The only form of a family life is collapsing and they feel abandoned by the parent with whom it no longer live together even if the child still sees the parent regularly. Often the child develops the fear that the other parent could also leave him. Many children feel guilty for the separation of their parents, think it is their fault. You, as a grandparent, can provide stability in this situation. It would be unrealistic to ask you to have a neutral attitude to the divorce. It is normal that you take sides, whether it is on your own child or your son in law/daughter in law. But it is important that in front of your grandchild you keep your feelings to yourself.