Crying is a biological signal and the most effective and important form of communication. With this signal the baby is able to communicate his needs like hunger, thirst, feeling hot or cold, needing to be close to somebody. Crying is a very intense signal because it should motivate the parents to immediately react and find out what the baby needs and relieve them for their discomfort.
A baby is only diagnosed with infantile colic if the episode of crying is more than three hours a day, for more than three days a week for a three week duration. You will notice that the baby normally starts crying at the same time (late afternoon) and that the cry is high pitch and louder then normally. Often the infants won't lie on their backs or tummies. It leads to that the parents walk around with the baby for hours and hours. The change of stimulation calms the baby down for a couple of minutes but it leads to a over stimulation and exhaustion.
I think at this point it is not really so important to discuss why some babys get it and some don't. I think it is more important to imagine what it is like for the parents of these babys. That is how you become a good support system for the family.
The parents can become chronically agitated and it leads to the feeling of helplessness, aggression, worthlessness, insecurity, fear of failing and depression. The parental skills become restricted and it makes it even harder for them to calm their baby. Often the relationship will suffer as they are both agitated and have no time for themselves.
A social network is very important in times like these. Mothers need a time out, need to get back her energy so that she can the strength and the patience to be able to calm her baby. You as a grandparent can be a very important resource.
How do you think you can help your children in a times like this? If you are a mother or a father who has a colicky baby tell us how you need help? What do you need your parents to do for you?
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