Interacting with your grandchild

One does not realise but an infant is always looking to socially interact with another human being. At first the interaction means being close to someone and later to feel internally close. Feeling internally close to the mother of example means to be able to internalize her. To know that she is still there also if she is not in the room. Being able to internalize is important for the development of a secure attachment. The relationship to the main caretaker (usually the mother) is  foundation for the relationships the child will establish later in life. It is important that one can emphasise with the baby and be sensitive to the babys needs (Grossmann & Grossmann, 2009).

Moreover the main caretaker needs to react appropriately. What does it mean to react appropriately? For example when a baby shows that he wants to play and explore then it is important to let him. Give him the room that he needs but be there as a secure basis. This means that you allow the child return when feelings of anxiety arise. An inappropriate way to react would be if the mother tried sending her baby to sleep or try feeding her. This reaction would lead to a frustration.

I will give you one more example: If a baby wakes up and starts crying and the mother does not react to this cry then the mother will have not reacted appropriately. An infant does not cry for no reason. Sometimes the baby will cry because he is hungry, or feel a discomfort. Sometimes babys cry because the they are afraid or they want to be close to someone. If one does not react to a babys cry the baby will give up at some point and believe that here is nobody out there who will help him. That why it is important to react to the infant without delay. An infant is not able to connect a delayed of the parent with his signal. Moreover should one should remember that the infant does not realise that the mother is not part of him. He needs someone to react to his discomfort as he is depended on someone to relieve him from it. That doesn't mean that you are spoiling your grandchild or that the parents are spoiling your grandchild. You should encourage the parents of your grandchild to react promptly if they don't.

I would like to share with you an incredible video that shows how important it is for a child that the people around him socially interact with it. This video shows an experiment called "still- face" by Dr. Edward Tronick. I won't explain the experiment to you as it will take away the effect of the video.

How did you feel after watching this video? Did you think the baby would react in such an extreme way?